Last night I went out on the terrace.
It must have been half past ten or so.
The air stung, the temperatures in the last two days have dropped quite a bit, I wrapped the blanket around me and stepped on the cold tiles, the afternoon sun hadn’t warmed them enough.
I raised my head to the sky, I listened to the deafening silence and I inhaled a scent of air that I haven’t smelled for a long time.
I’m thirsty for sensations in this period, like everyone else.
I saw a starry sky that I hadn’t seen for a long time, especially above my city, a mantle dotted almost casually by small lights; having had a stellar pencil I could have joined them to form the constellations.

They are little emotions, little things that I was no longer used to.
Like silence, sometimes almost surreal.
Indeed no, it is surreal, like many other things in this historical moment.

I often pause in front of the window, to see how everything can change in an instant, how everything has become fragile, poised on the palm of my hand, ready to fall and shatter into a thousand pieces if not held tightly.
And I want to hold it firmly, with all my strength.
The landscape is the same, from any window I look out, but my imagination has never had limits and I constantly navigate in people’s homes, I create lives and projects that are not mine.

I’m fine, we’re fine, I dedicate my spirit of adaptation that has always accompanied me to everything else, the same one that I take advantage of during a trip, when conditions are not as they were expected, but it is a journey and the unexpected is always behind. the angle, as they are in life.
And today we are all experiencing an unexpected event.

I’m not complaining, why should I do it? I follow the rules, I do things at home (and not many more than before), I read (not with the concentration I would like), I watch movies and TV series (a great remedy for everything), I cook and eat (as I always have).
I admire and thank those who are in the front line on all fronts of help these days.

I have been trying to finish this post for days, I struggle, but I don’t struggle to write it, my fingers go fast as always, I love to write.
But putting emotions and fears on paper makes me certain that, I measure everything, every single word.
I am an optimist, and mind you, I almost never am. I never shine with positivity, pessimism often and willingly takes possession of my will …

I try not to get discouraged, I try not to read news all day looking for who knows what, I don’t use social media and I follow and listen to people who make me feel good or who communicate truthful news to me: all those who share negativity and fake news are magically been pushed aside.
We will need some of this optimism for the aftermath too …
I am on day n of quarantine and if I do not realize the fact that I am forbidden to walk, visit my mother and hug my grandchildren, see friends, not much has changed.
Basically, I almost always work from home and so I continued to do so until two of the companies I work with had to close.
I keep working, from today a little less, from tomorrow maybe a little more, who knows.
One thing is certain, I have a lot of time to think.
The rediscovered time, the one that never was.
At the beginning the discomfort was that of not being in control of the situation, of not having a fixed point on the horizon, a work deadline, a date on which to attack me.
Now the thoughts fluctuate more or less lightly in step with the change that will inevitably transform me and us.
I keep my mind busy as I know that many things will still change, our lives and the way we have always dealt with them.
There will be new awareness, those that perhaps had been lost in the fog of unconsciousness, the same fog that here in the Po Valley does not show an inch from the nose.

I will return to travel (indeed we WILL RETURN), with conscience, with greed and energy, with the desire to embrace the world by amplifying all the hugs that are denied us at this moment.

In the meantime, I collect dreams and projects, little things and memories; old photos and videos of smiles, phone calls and messages, hot cups of tea and apple pies, books to read on the bedside table and movies to watch on Amazon Prime, Disney Plus, Now Tv, and then I regularly watch what I was not saved …

And a photographer, I take moments of this new and momentary lifestyle, to be looked at again in some time.

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